Babywearing

I'm new to babywearing but I love it more and more every day.

I bought a newborn Mei Tai before Indy was born so that I could mainly carry him everywhere (I ended up buying a pushchair as well though as sometimes it's just easier!)

And I have recently found my local sling library so I can hire one out whenever I like.
Yesterday I brought home a Girasol Rainbow. I've not really even used a stretchy sling with Indy before so going full woven was a little bit scary. (they're harder apparently!)
But as I had bought a stretchy before and sent it back because I just didn't like it, I thought I would just jump right in at the deep end.

And.It's.Amazing.

I want to wear him in it all the time.
He looks so comfy and it's so warm too.

It does take some practice though. At the moment I can only properly wrap him if i'm looking in the mirror so I can see everything going where it should be. My Mei tai is a lot simpler to wrap so is ideal for when I'm out driving somewhere and I can do a quick wrap and get going.

I'm going to be convincing the hubs to buy me a woven before long though!

Getting Lost

I have always loved getting lost.

I moved around a lot as a child and one of the first things me and my brothers would do (after fighting over who gets which room) is we'd go and find our way around, which meany getting a little lost first!

My parents would arm us with snacks and drink and expect us home around dark and we'd be off for hours looking for local woodlands, parks and where the shops were to go get the morning paper for dad.

I've lived in Plymouth for a while now (since I was about 14) so I have discovered most places, but it's always nice when you come across a little charming area to go and get lost in.

It's not much and it was only a little detour but Indy and I find a neat little path to go and have a little walk through.
It's the little things :)

The Loneliness Of Motherhood

I forgot just how blinking lonely it can be with a new baby!

It's half term at the moment so I have both of them at home with me and i'm exhausted. And it's only half way through the week!

I do have friends obviously. I'm not a leper. But It's quite hard to see them when half of them live 100+ miles from me and those that are close, still technically live quite far.
It's not too bad as the crow flies but because I don't drive, it means a trip to the city centre and then another bus to wherever they are.
(To get to my mums driving, it's 7 minutes, to get there by bus, it's a little under 90 minutes!)

So, I'm glad I've found some mums on Netmums. A website with all the info and convo you could get your hands on.
I hate to say it but Plymouth is one of those more...chavvy areas.
I'm not a snob. Not really. I'm common as muck, but I just can't have a real conversation with someone who uses "lyk" or "innit".

Anyway, hopefully i've just made a few more friends to have a chat and a cup of coffee with!

2 Months Old

Indy is two whole months old today.

I have no idea where that time went. It's gone by in a bit of a blur, as I'm sure the rest of his childhood will do also.

He's not that little lump that just lays there and cries and poops and eats anymore. He's smiley and interactive. 

His big brother is getting massive as well. He comes up to my bust these days. And he's asking Santa for a television. I've been fighting him and his dad for a little over a year on it now. I don't want him to have a tv in his room. He's 5!

But with parental controls on tv and xbox I can put a timer on these days. So I ended up giving in.

It also means we're having to redecorate the boys room in split themes. Oscar gets one half of the room with his geekfest, and Indy gets the other half in his woodland theme and I'm converting the wardrobe into a story corner with a little canopy and everything.

Things are just settling into place nicely :)

These boys need to stop growing up, right this instant!

Indy loves

bouncing

me singing to him

tummy time

upside down mummy game

his anna banana toy

babywearing

chin tickles

Salt n' Pepa - Push It

Breastfeeding

So, this topic was bound to come up wasn't it.

Now, before I start, I just want to say I have absolutely nothing against bottles. Infact, my 5 year old was bottle fed. I breast fed him my colostrum because I knew it was good for him, but ultimately, at the age of 20, I didn't want to be handing my boobs over so soon. I wanted to feel like me as quickly as I could. As far as I saw it, my body was for me and my partner, not my baby.

Looking back, I do wish I'd have tried breast feeding a bit more but I know I wouldn't really have had the patience or support to do it.

Nobody I knew had breastfed. Every woman I'd ever known had always used bottles, so it was a bit of a strange thing to me back then.

This time, I live in an area where I get loads more support and i've spoken with mums who are breastfeeding or who have in the past, so at least this time I kind of had an idea going in what it would be like.

Nothing prepared me for how hard those first few weeks are though. Nobody told me just how close I would feel to wanting to give it up. When I was surviving on pure adrenaline the only thing that kept me going was the guilt I knew I would feel if I switched to bottle. I knew I was giving my baby the best there was and I also wanted to prove I could do it to those I knew doubted me.

I got an email a couple of weeks ago, asking if I was interested In doing the christmas shifts at work this year. I work on a temp basis so they randomly let me know when they need me and I can take or refuse the work. As it's christmas, and we're not exactly well off, If we're to give our boys some decent presents it means me going back to work for 4-5 weeks. But the type of work I do, means I'm unable to express while I'm there. I'm not really into expressing as it is. It makes me feel like a cow and it's already hard enough for me to switch between nurturer and wife at the click of a finger.

So we've opted to partially wean onto formula. It's not something I really wanted to do, but I would rather be able to spoil my well behaved boys this christmas and feel a little guilt than stay at home and feel even more guilty that I can't provide financially!
I chose the lesser of evils.
I started Indy on one bottle of formula a day in the morning and now we're up to two. I have ended up loving breastfeeding now so I'm quite gutted when I have to give him formula but at the moment it's for the best. He'll be on his formula just for the mornings though as I should be home from work a little after 1pm and then we go on to pure breast for the rest of the day and night.
I'm hoping that it's possible for me to re-establish those feeds in the new year though i'm not sure how it works. We'll see.



I wrote a post some time ago that I was planning on breastfeeding and that there was a lot of people around who didn't want to see mommies feeding their babies.
I first had to breastfeed outside a while ago now, but I was really nervous and was paranoid everyone was looking at me!  I was in a Starbucks in the corner and nobody even noticed what I was doing except one of the staff members who saw but didn't say anything.
The next time I had to feed him, I was nowhere near any cafe and didn't know where to go for privacy.
I ended up feeding him sat outside of a McDonalds reastaurant!
Barely even anyone took notice, and those that did were generally women who just smiled at me as they walked by.
I also breastfed at a party last weekend, but people were just calling me 'Earth Momma', especially when I then put him in his Mei Tai!

So, so far I've not had any bad experiences. It's still early days obviously but I do think that perhaps there shouldn't be so many of those stories in the news for mums-to-be to read as I can see how it may put off many women who would otherwise have breast fed.

TL;DR
I'm glad I persevered and breastfed my ickle babes

Differences

From day 1 that Indy was born, we've been comparing him to his big brother. As babies, they both look very similar. Very much like their Dad, but with my cornflour blue eyes.

Oscar is on the left and Indy is on the right. There are some differences obviously. Ozzy was born with a ton more hair. Indy has a smaller forehead, but everything else looks very much the same! 

Although they might look similar, already we're noticing that their personalities aren't.

Oscar has always been very loud and active ALL THE TIME. Just this week I was chatting to him and noticed that I'd stopped paying attention, "you talk a lot", I said to him.

"I talk a lot?!" he replied. "do you talk alot?"

"no"

"does daddy talk a lot?"

"no"

"is it just me who talks a lot?"

...that went on for some time. Whereas Indy is a bit more relaxed, already we can see that. When Oz woke up from naps he was straight away crying, looking for a hug or some kind of attention, but Indy is very happy to just sit and look about, give smiles and be content whether it's in someone arms or in his moses/bouncer/cot etc

Sometimes it's good that Oz talks loads. It makes him social and he says the craziest, funniest things sometimes. But to be honest, i'm hoping Indy stays being a quieter one because I don't know what i'd do with two chatterboxes!!

Getting back into shape

I can't really say it's a huge priority for me to get back into my pre-pregnancy shape but it would certainly make me feel better.

After I had Oscar, I felt huge, delicate and unsexy, so it took me a long time to feel myself and it hit my relationship with Andy pretty hard. We struggled for about a year and a half to find where we both fit again and now we're closer and more in love than we've ever been. The last thing I want to do is lose that again.
So getting into shape, though not a priority RIGHT NOW, is still quite important to me and my family.

When I met Andy I was an unhealthy (as in it didn't suit me) size 8. After Oscar, I went up to as large as a size 18. I worked hard to get my body back down to a size 12 which i achieved just months before I got pregnant with Indy.
I admit, I was worried about getting back into my size 12 jeans ever again. I was planning on waiting until Indy was at least 3 months old before I started to seriously get back into good shape, but after only 6 weeks I feel like I'm already back on track without even trying.
Seriously, i've been stuffing my face full of cake and biscuits to survive the day!
I'm still going to start going to the gym in a couple of months but for now, i'm pretty proud that I'm already looking like this

First

Being the one who's usually taking the photo, and the fact that i've looked -and felt- like rubbish for the last few weeks, i've only just had my first picture with Indy taken. There's loads of all my boys together and even more of just Indy pulling funny faces. So here's our first picture. And our first family picture.

On my lonesomes

Andy started back at work last night.
He's been off since Indy was born (bar two nights where he had to go to work), so I've not really done a whole lot on my own.
He helps me keep my cool when i'm getting stressed and takes Indy when I need 10 mins for a cup of tea. So now i'm juggling everything, including school runs and making my own tea, and doing it while breastfeeding on demand is the hardest part.
We're trying to partially wean at the moment so I do get a couple of feeds where he'll take a bottle of formula and I can get on and do what I need to. Sometimes he can take an age to finish on the breast. He only has morning bottles though as that's when I'll be working, I want to keep breastfeeding through the afternoons, evenings and nights as i'm actually starting to enjoy it.

I digress.
I'm a bit nervous to be looking after two little ones by myself now instead of just the easy one. And Ozzy was very easy. He can wash and dress himself and apart from making sure he's fed and watered and has some form of entertainment, he could pretty much do as he pleased. He's rarely naughty so I don't have to hover over him with every little thing.
He's started getting a little cheekier now Indy's here so I do have a bit more work where he's concerned.

I just need to get into some sort of rhythm now!

Indy James

Indy James

Born 28th August '13

weighing 9lb 1/4 oz

at 2.52pm

Here's my birth story. So if you're a bit squeamish then I suggest you avert your gaze!

When I hit 37 weeks, I started getting a lot more braxton hicks and false labour. I would wake up in the night so often with pretty painful contractions. I was convinced It was going to happen "any second now" for about 2 weeks!
At about 11pm on 27th Aug, at 39+3weeks, I had another bout of what I thought was false labour, so I just went to bed and tried to get some sleep but I woke up at 2am with the pain much worse. I was in denial that it was labour though so I bounced on my gym ball for about an hour and watched some television.
The pain started getting pretty intense though so I called the labour ward and they suggested I have a bath, which is where I realised that it was for real. I stayed in the bath for about 3 hours...mainly because I couldn't move!
After I managed to crawl out, I bounced a bit more, called the labour ward again and they pretty much told me to man up and wait a bit longer!
I ignored their advice and turned up an hour later once my mum had arrived to take care of Oscar.


Once at the hospital, just a quick 5 minute drive away, I was put onto a monitor and the midwife checked to see how far along I was (which she had to check during a contraction?! yowch!). I was 6cm! (good job I ignored that advice eh?!) further than I thought I would be as I was fully expecting for her to tell me I was only 2cm and to grow some balls.
I got taken to a room with a pool but by this point I was already pretty pruney and just wanted to sit on the bed for a while so Andy could rub my back. All the pain was in my back so I chugged the gas and air and even got the midwife to rub me when Andy had to take a break. (apparently I was annoying him a lot by dropping my water bottle every 5 mins).

Many hours later and I hadn't progressed very far so I had my waters broken and just minutes later I was pushing. As I'd had an epidural last time, the experience was completely different for me and 20minutes later at 2.52 Indy was born!

We had a feed and some cuddles, got a quick bath in the pool, packed up the bags which were mostly unneeded. And just 3 short hours later we were headed home. (Well, we stopped for a quick KFC on the way back)

We chose the name Indy from a website we found with unusual (but fairly realistic) baby names. We were going to name him Indiana (after the great Indiana Jones) but with his middle name being James it sounded too close to us being crazy fans, so we kept Indy. We've found it's what I like to call a Marmite name...people either love it's uniqueness or think i'm cruel and strange. But we love it and he Looks like an Indy so I'm glad we chose it.

His big brother Oscar loves him, though is pretty rough with him sometimes when he's trying to hug and kiss him.


Indy loves tummy time, his legs being stoked and his ear/neck raspberried.
He loves laying in his bouncer with me looking at him upside down (upside down mummy game!)
He likes falling asleep to loud music, or me singing and bouncing him.
He's breastfed but am partial weaning so I can go back to work for christmas (where i'm unfortunately unable to express)
He's given us a few smiles which I'm SURE wasn't wind, it's a cute smile.
We all love babywearing wherever we can but he's also snug as a bug in his pushchair.
He really hates bath time but likes top and tail time because he loves having his butt out!
Daddy is the burp and swaddle king! I feed him then Daddy gets the wind out and wraps him like a pro.
His bouncer is his favourite place to be, after being in someones arms.
He's an absolute star (which I'm going to probably regret because it's nearly bedtime and no doubt he'll start being a pain cos I said that!)

First and Last Foundation

Hospital bags and getting prepared

It's been pretty non event up until now.

Oscar is on his school holidays now, the summer sun has come and gone and Sh*t is starting to hit the fan!

I'm 35 weeks now and it was about this time In my last pregnancy that everything started going belly up. I'm anaemic, have varicose veins, chronic heartburn and my blood pressure has sneakily started creeping up. 

I was 36 weeks last time when my blood pressure started going up and it resulted in quite a scary labour and afterbirth experience. I'm more prepared (as is my consultant OBGYN) for it all this time though so hopefully it won't be as horrific!

So, with a baby coming out of me fairly blooming soon I've started getting my hospital bag ready, and I've found that there really is no list anywhere of everything you may need when going in for a hospital birth. I've had to scour several sites to get a full list of everything I need to pack. Here's what I have;

Nightie

Dressing Gown

Socks

Slippers

Hair Bands

Hair Brush

BB Cream & mascara (so I don't look TOO awful for the baby pics after!)

Chapstick

A Small blanket for me

Nursing Pillow

Going home outfit

Towel

Disposable Undies/Granny Pants

Supportive Vest Top

Deodorant

Hand Sanitiser

Breast Pads

Muslin Cloth/s

Nursing Cover

Baby's Towel

Baby Shampoo

Maternity Pads

Swaddle Blanket

Baby booties

Baby Hat

Baby Socks

Baby's Going Home Outfit

Vests (x2-3)

Sleepsuits (x2-3)

Cotton Wool

Disposable Nappies

Shampoo

Conditioner

Shower Gel

Toothbrush

Toothpaste

Mini Fan

TENS machine

Mobile Phone & Charger

Change for Car Park

Camera

Birth Plan & Hospital Notes

Energy Drink (for the partner)

Biscuits & Energy Bars (for the partner)

And that's what I have so far!

All of it being divided into my Mia Tui bags.(and they're overflowing, may have to buy another bag!)

Last time, I was in hospital for just over a week and he came out 2 weeks early, so I was very unprepared for everything. I'd taken out the sleepsuits to give one last wash and forgot to put them back in, forgot to put in my going home clothes and a towel...my partner ended up bring in a lot of stuff I needed over the course of the week which was quite difficult for him. (bless him he had to find me clothes to wear and ended up bringing me jeans two sizes too small!), so I'm maybe overcompensating this time by having everything ready early.

I'm sure I've still forgotten something though!

Karate

Oscar completed his Keon Kata to get his yellow belt!
And then we celebrated with a picnic and footy with Daddy and Grandad :)

Everythings HUGE

My boobs are huge.
my belly is huge
my ankles are huge
my arse is huge.

It's 23degrees out so i have boob sweatage.

I have too much to clean and too little time.

too tired to make any real sense...

Isn't it funny...

It's rant day today.

I don't know whether i'm all antsy because of my hormones (like lovely hubs suggested) or if I'm actually rightfully angry but it does seem like a lot of my "friends" have changed since I've become pregnant.

I have one friend pretty much ignoring me. She has a 3 year old girl and says that its just not the same because i'm having a boy and she thinks I'm jealous of her. I mean, It was no secret I thought it would be nice to have a girl but I really couldn't give a stuff about gender at the end of the day. I'm excited to be having my little boy and I hate that she's now trying to ruin it for me by saying those things. It's my last baby, I'm trying to enjoy it and screw you if you try to make me feel bad!

My other "friend" is the worst though. She no longer wants to be my friend because...

I'm not married.

She's told me before that I should get married to Andy before I have another baby. I've been with him for about 8 years now and although I do agree that it's about time...It's money we can't afford. Even going for a quickie down the registry office would set us back by just over £100...I can use that £100 for much better things at the moment. I'm £2k in debt that I'm trying to pay off and a baby on the way. It's been 8 years...so what's another 8?!

She doesn't seem to agree though. She had her wedding not long after she found out she was pregnant because she didn't want to "raise the baby alone", and doesn't agree with anyone raising a baby out of wedlock.

I'm not alone. Andy's there. We're as good as married without the bloody piece of paper to prove it.

I'm lucky in that I have one or two friends who are actually there for me and don't judge me for being an unmarried mother or for having a boy. To the rest of you fuckers making my life hell...jog on.

26+6 Weeks

I am 26+6 now, everything still hunky dorey and just waiting for time to pass.

It was Oscar's 5th birthday on Tuesday, and it being half term we decided to try to fit in as much as we possibly can this week.

On Saturday we went shopping for picnic food, toys and just general town shopping things. I treated him to a McDonalds and spent a little over a tenner on CAKE! We bought a M&S Colin the Caterpillar one-delish-plus a few cupcakes from the cupcake shop. Then we went home and packed his bag ready to go to Granny and Grandads in Cornwall for the night.

After he was gone, I made up the picnic food, cut Andys hair, made dinner and cleaned the house - which brought us to about 10pm so I went straight to bed!

Then on Sunday,  Granny and Grandad came and picked us up and we went to Paignton Zoo. We met Andys brother Rob and his girlfriend & her kid there too and spent all day walking around checking out the animals and stopping for a picnic next to the croc enclosure.

I have very slight SPD/PGP (which basically means by pubic area will KILL occasionally) so going across the swinging bridge hurt like hell and I spent most of the rest of the day hobbling about ten paces behind everyone else. I was so glad when we got home but it was a really good day.

On Monday, I spent the day cleaning up the house after its total neglect over the busy weekend and we took a quick walk to the shops to get some fresh air and to buy some balloons for the mini birthday party.

So, Tuesday was actual birthday boys birthday. Grandparents came over again to give him his presents and we ate some cake. Then when they left I took Oscar off to go swimming then toy shopping to spend his birthday money. I bought him a sneaky bag of chips while we were out and about but he decided the pigeons begging at his feet needed to eat more than he did. 

Now I need another 4 days to recover from all that hoohaa. I am ZONKED!

23 Weeks

It's been both boring and eventful the last couple of weeks.

I have the usual pregnancy things going on, gingivitis, infections, heartburn, braxton hicks...

but on the whole there's not a whole lot of baby stuff going down!

Squid is kicking away quite a lot. I like to put objects on my belly and Andy and Ozzy sit and watch my as the object is kicked and prodded and bounces around all over! He's quite low down and every now and then i'll get a punch or kick in my downstairs area! Not all that fun. It also means he's using my bladder as a punch bag which means I have to pee sooooo much more often, which amuses Andy... watching me trying to lift myself off our couch (the thing sucks you in so you can't get back up!) and wobble my way to the toilet.

We've also bought quite a few baby things. We're pretty much done on clothes-except for the cute outfits! Our only real expense before christmas will be cloth nappies, which we're hoping friends and family can contribute to. Then after christmas will be the bigger car seat, a cot, and the point where we start to run out of clothes.

And lastly, we have picked his name. It has been another compromise where we both like the first name, but Andy got to pick the middle name...which at the moment, i'm not too sure on BUT it's the first name that counts and we're happy with it so we're not telling ANYONE! We've had too many people already tell us that they don't like our ideas for his name or trying to offer/push names onto us. This way they can't say anything that can put us off.

Pregnancy essential

The 20 week (gender) Scan

Last week was my 20 week scan.
We've known since the test turned pink that we wanted to find out the gender, but most importantly we were nervous about his or her health.
As I had a molar pregnancy last summer and I had hypertension when I was pregnant with Oscar, we were going to be a bit more nervous than normal.
I knew baby was okay to an extent because I've been feeling a lot of movements and even sometimes a good old kick.
It turns out we needn't have worried at all. I'm measuring to my original dates, which is nearly a week bigger than my due date, and all insides are normal. There was one kidney that had a bit too much fluid in it but sonographer lady wasn't worried but I have to have another scan in July just to make sure.

She couldn't get a good look at the spine so I had to jump around for a couple minutes, which only just about worked! And then she gave us the news we'd been waiting for...boy or girl? Phoebe or Phoebo?

I'd been dying for a girl, hubby and son were wanting a boy. Either way, we're all happy that the baby is a healthy little boy :)

I keep getting asked if I'm disappointed because Its my last baby and I wanted a girl.
I hate the word disappointed. It reminds me of when you're a kid and your patents aren't mad at you, they're "disappointed" so you feel 10 times worse.
I'm a little sad that I'll never get to do the girl things but I won't love him any less just because he has a wiener.

We did have baby names sorted but hubs has decided he no longer likes the boy name and now we can't agree on anything!
Queue weeks of arguing!

The baby name fiasco

Since finding out we're having a boy, the one question we're getting is "have you thought of any names yet?."

Well, we did have a name sorted for a boy or a girl, but hubs started changing his mind about the boys name, which turned out to be the only name we could agree on!
Had little one been a girl we would have called her Luna.
So we've been looking at all the names we could find that both of us would like but hubs liked names like Dante, Damien and Adrian. I don't want a demon child name and everyone I think of Adrian I think Mole! But I'm quite the hippy when it comes to names, I like Bodhi, Sawyer and pretty much every celeb baby name ever!

We actually only agreed on naming Oscar when I was about 34 weeks, we couldn't agree on a name so we just randomly picked out a decent enough name out of a baby book! The name suits him now but it wasn't really a name I loved.

I know we still have a while before baby is here but I really want to love the name we pick this time rather than making do!

19 Weeks

well, 18+6 ;)

Easter Break

Since about mid December we've been without Andy's car. The gearbox went out the window and it's taken us/the nice garage man MONTHS to find one that will fit into our car AND be in our budget.

We're getting it back today! WAHOO.

I can go back to blagging lifts and taking Oscar out to places further than the City Centre. And with the sunshine slowly but surely popping it's head out, it has come at the best time. Beach here we come!

So far all we're doing is mooching around, getting our crafty stuff out to play with and going for walks.

Though I did have to put up with a magician at a kids party and Gangnam Style was on repeat for about 20 minutes.

Getting crafty

I learnt how to crochet... And now I can't stop!

Planning on sewing the squares to make one BIG blanket!

Just Plodding Along

Not much has happened over the last couple of weeks.

We're coming up for Easter Break which terrifies me no end.

-How do I entertain a 4 year old child for two weeks when the weather is so NAFF?!

So for now I'm just taking it easy. I've had headaches on and off for a week or so and all my belly muscles and skin is stretching so that's loads of fun.

OH, and heartburn has kicked in. Wasn't hoping from a visit from the heartburn fairy until at least the 3rd trimester!

My bestie has also just announced her pregnancy! We're only about a month apart in due dates so it'll be really excellent bringing up our last babies together.
It wasn't planned to work out that way! but I'm sure we'll have tons of fun moaning to each other and being able to keep each other company when we just wanna cry!

I didn't have many friends sticking by me when I was preggers with Oz, so it will be fab to have her going through the same.

 Misery loves company and all that ;)

Breast vs Bottle

It has always been my plan with this second baby to breastfeed.
With Oz, I wanted to try it and see how it went but knew that ultimately I would bottle feed. My mother bottle fed all of her children so it was really all I knew and being quite young at the time I was quite selfish and didn't feel I could give myself 100% to my baby all the time.
It wasn't long before Oz was spending some nights away from me either so it was all out of ease and comfort for myself rather than what was best.

Even before I was pregnant with baby number two I've decided to breastfeed and trying to get it into my head that that's what I'm doing and really preparing myself for it as early as possible, gathering all the information I can and steering away from buying bottles. However there's always the fact that not everyone supports breastfeeding particularly in public. I saw this article this morning and it really makes me fearful as a first time breast feeder how I'm going to cope:
http://www.kentonline.co.uk/times_guardian/news/2013/march/13/breastfeeding_mum_told_to_quit.aspx

The comments below the article is really where I feel disgusted. I don't feel like I should have to plan my entire life around feeding my child, it's completely natural and in my opinion, if babe and boob are covered there's no issue about it. I feel self conscious about myself as it is without other people coming up to me and asking me to shove off because THEY are uncomfortable. How did he think he was making that poor mother feel by telling everyone what she was doing!

It really makes me nervous to think I might be faced with these prejudices in my town and I can really understand now why women choose the bottle over the breast. I am still wanting to breastfeed but its going to be something weighing on my mind until I have the balls to leave the house with my baby.

Mothers Day and Belly Bumps

I'm a little over 15 weeks now and I'm really starting to feel it!

I'm getting pains in my sides from all the stretching, I get tired so much quicker and, the worst of the lot...I never can get comfortable!

On the plus though, I'm big enough to get offered seats on the bus, I can pig out on anything I want without feeling guilty about it and I can be lazy and get hubs to do the housework for me.

Which is what my lovely boys were doing for me yesterday. I woke up to toast and a homemade cookie with some apple juice, then they left me to watch telly in bed while they went and tidied up downstairs. We chilled out for much of the day and then went to eat a roast at the in-laws. We were even treated to BEEF! my favourite. All in all I can't complain...much

Me at 14+2

Freaky Dreams

I don't dream often (or at least remember them) but when I do they're very strange.
And now that my eggo is preggo, the dreams are coming thick and fast.

Pretty much every night I'll have 2-3 dreams that are just plain effed up. I remember having a few weird dreams when I was pregnant with Oscar but this is ridiculous.
I had one dream where I was out on the tiles with a cheeky girl - hot pants and all. And another where I was sent to boot camp with a character from a book I'm reading.
The freakiest by far though was where I was a ninja but used sharp pencils to stake people with.

Bleeding mental.

The 'nub theory'

My sister-in-law introduced me to the nub theory, where the angle of the nub in your 12 week scan could tell you whether you're having a boy or a girl.

It seems a little too good to be true though and even after staring at my scan pic for ridiculous lengths of time, I'm still not sure!

Here's the website explaining it all:
http://m.parentdish.co.uk/2009/06/03/nub-theory-baby-gender-prediction-at-12-weeks/

Have a read, then tell me what you think my little squid is gonna be! Maybe you'll be better at it than I am.

13 Weeks

I've been ill the last week thanks to my darling son.

He got ill right before the half term and then me and his Dad get ill for his week off! We still managed to do something everyday bar one though so he didn't miss out on the fun things.



So, even though I've had the scan now, I'm still bricking it. I remember all the feelings and pains and whatnot from my last pregnancy and I'm getting them this time too but, I just feel so much more worried about everything! It's not stopped me from buying baby gear mind. (though boyf has put a limit on the spendage!)
I'm planning to buy little and often to spread all the payments out over the next 6 months.

I feel better in myself though. Not so tired, not so ill....still no energy but then again, I'm pretty lazy when I'm NOT pregnant so not much has changed there.



All in all, i'm taking it bloody easy and eating a lot of BLT's.

12 Week Dating Scan

So!

I had my 12 week scan today! Everything is fine in there, baby growing perfectly though was being a bit of a cheeky bugger and couldn't get into a good position for the sonographer.

Still managed to get a good picture though.
Now I just have to try not to freak out about labour!

Back to being me

Well I'm around 12-13 weeks now.

Scan is next week, and I'm finally beginning to feel a bit more normal. I'm not so tired (though both my boys have been ill this week so I'm tired from that!) and I didn't really have any other complaints. It's thankfully been quite uneventful.

The only thing I've been left with now is a podgey belly. It's that awful stage when people who don't know the secret just think I've eaten too many pies-which is kind of true but I've only gained a couple pound really.

I'm getting a bit more hopeful now that I'm nearing the end of the first trimester, mainly because I've had none of the symptoms I had last time from my partial molar pregnancy in the summer.
I felt VERY sick last time and ended up losing half a stone because I couldn't eat and I was too tired to do anything. Of course I'll still expect the worst come the day of my scan but I am being cheeky and I'm on the lookout for cute baby things! Better to start early so the mister doesn't realise how much I'm spending.

Mwahahahaa

Hopefully my next update will contain belly pics. Wish me luck

Taking the P***

It's my lovely boyfriends week off work this week so I have full on been milking it!

He's done all the school runs, cooked the majority of dinners, tidied the house (including washing dishes!)...the only thing I've had to worry about is the laundry. And so long as we all have clean underwear and Oscar has clean school uniform I am perfectly happy to put that on the back burner.
I've been lazing on the sofa watching Neighbours, Gilmore Girls and the E! channel. Bliss.

I got my letter today giving me the date and time for my 12 week scan. It feels ages away. It already feels like I've waited eons and its killing me not knowing what's going on with my baby. Or if there is even still a baby at this point. I've had no unusual symptoms that would point in the direction of another molar pregnancy but its hard not to have the doubt in your mind.
I have seen a heartbeat, I just hope it's still there beating away on my next scan YEARS away. (Okay, 2 weeks. It just feels like years).

Right, The Kardashians is on, and I have to yell at Andy to fix the dinner. I am sooo going to miss this when he's back at work!

I Will Eat It ALL

So, I've been fairly quiet mainly because I've been mostly asleep or eating for the past few weeks.

I wake up at 7am for the school run, get home and crash on the sofa with a snack, fall asleep until lunchtime, have another nap after lunch, wake up for the school run (unless I can convince hubby to go do it for me!) and sleep till dinnertime. Bed by 10pm.

I'm like a baby. All I do is eat, sleep and poop!

Which of course means my house is an absolute sh**hole. Dishes only get done when I realise I have nothing to eat my cereal in (that's after using terrines, cups and measuring jugs as well). I try to go the long way around on the school run to get a bit of exercise everyday but after that I just can't do anything.

I also want every food thing that's advertised on TV or mentioned in passing. So far this week I've craved kit kat chunkys, toffee crisps, cheese sandwiches, tuna paninis and right now, for the last couple of days all I want is a Salsa Twister from KFC.

I feel like i've gone a little bit crazy and my brain can't think of the right words. Last night I asked hub if he could get the hoohaa out the thingy and give it a wash. I was there for about five minutes trying to find the correct word for 'hoohaa'. Eventually i remembered it was a PAN!

I can't wait until this bit passes. It was the most hated part of pregnancy last time around as well. 2nd and 3rd trimester I can do fine but for the love 'a god I can't sleep no more! my poor house.

Right, I need to go nap...

If at first you don't succeed...

So, seeing as nobody is following my blog at the moment I feel like I can put this out there. It's a bit of a secret see. Shhhh!

On Oscar's last birthday (May '12) me and my fella decided to properly try for another baby. We'd been thinking about it for a while but with Oz turning 4 we thought it was high time we had another before the age gap was too big.

We got pregnant right away.

I very quickly became nauseous  my stomach already felt hugely bloated and sore at just 6 weeks and by 12 weeks, I looked 6 months pregnant.

At my 12 week scan I was diagnosed with a molar pregnancy. Which basically means too many of his guys got into my girl and it started to produce 'grape like cysts' instead of a baby. I had to have surgery to evacuate what was in the womb and told not to try having another for at least 6 months. I also had to have blood and urine tests every 2 weeks.
It also explained why I was so very fat and so very nauseous  because the hormone you find in pregnancy is very high in a molar and can make pregnancy symptoms far more worse than they are supposed to be usually.

Of course I was upset and disappointed but I also know it's just one of those things that happens and I moved on pretty quickly and incidentally...got pregnant before my 6 months were up!

At first I was very excited. But then it sunk in that I was now 10 times more likely to have it happen to me again. I was desperate to have a scan to make sure everything was okay and made up a fib to my doctor to get an early scan.

The first scan was 2 days after christmas and it was slightly too early to see anything but I was slightly reassured to the fact that there was everything there so far and all in the way it should be. I got booked in for another scan two weeks later.

That was yesterday.




I was fairly optimistic for this scan. I was around 7 weeks pregnant and had no nausea and no bloating. The only symptom of pregnancy I had was feeling quite tired all the time. But of course there is always that doubt and the fear of having to go through a molar pregnancy again. I was quite terrified. I remember laying on the surgery table last time and was crying my eyes out. That was the only time I cried though!

So, I took my very tired boyf to the hospital yesterday and as always in the Early Pregnancy Unit (EPU) I  was seen very quickly. The nurse was friendly and really put me at ease straight away. She shoved that giant stick scanner thing up my hoohaa and said pretty much straight away "well, there's the heartbeat."

I felt instant relief.

I could relax knowing that so far, my baby was fine and that I'm so very glad I didn't give into the temptation of cigarettes and alcohol over christmas!

It's not quite all safe just yet until my 12 week scan but I'm glad I'm one of those people who can get knocked down over and over and still keep getting up. You just gotta try try again!

My Christmas

I really just couldn't be bothered to keep up with posting over christmas because...well, it was just too much effort. Any spare moment I did have, was spent with a cuppa and catch up tv.

My Christmas was pretty good. we were all very spoilt.

Christmas dinner was HUGE courtesy of my brother and sister in law. We stayed at my in-laws for a night and felt a bit like foie gras. Totally stuffed.

Here's some piccy wics that sum it all up :)